Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Wise and Kind

There are two things that I have never been accused of in my life. One, no one has ever called me shy. And two, no one has ever said I was short on words. I mean, my own husband once told me in the car, when I was in the middle of some general observations, that "those were things that he just didn't need to hear."  (He will never live that one down, by the way!)

So, I know my posts can get long sometimes. I feel like keeping in short today by just sharing some of the Bible's great wisdom that has been helping me this week.

I have been trying to work on my attitude in the face of stress. I'm aware that in a stressful situation, I act out in a way most unbecoming, i.e. I FREAK OUT! I don't handle being in a rush well. My kids eat too slow when we're late for school. Freak out! They can't find one of their shoes. Freak out! My husband asks me to help him with one little thing when I'm already busy. Freak out!

Hey, the first step to change is admitting you have a problem, right? Well, I know I struggle with stress. I'm an exploder, as Lysa TerKeurst would say in Unglued. I can't handle really stressful situations so I explode, most of the time at my kids and husband.

Not good. Not what I want to do.

You know what else? This stress is often self-imposed. Sometimes I don't get up on time, or give us enough time to get out the door. I create the stress. This bugs me even more!

Sometimes you can't avoid stress. For example, this harvest season I am in is just stressful. There is more work for everyone in our family. Sometimes, it is a rush to feed the farmers and the kids supper and get back home to give baths and put the kids to bed at a decent time.

My hope and my help?  The Word of God. I used this verse in a much earlier post, but it is one of my essential verses to help me through motherhood. This verse is taken from the very descriptive passage in Proverbs 31. It's a description of the Wife of Noble Character (Proverbs 31:10-31).
"When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness" (Prov. 31: 26).
Most of us are probably familiar with this passage in scripture. There are many actions and attitudes that us modern women can aspire to. It describes the woman as an energetic and strong hard worker. Good. It mentions the many ways a woman can provide and help her family. Good. But this verse specifically speaks to an area that I need to work on.

For the past few days, I've been meditating on this verse. I try to say it to myself before a stressful situation, like bath/bedtime, when I know I am prone to spewing loud commands. You know what? It's been helping me. It makes me aware of the situation and what attitudes it might bring out in me. Then I can be prepared to keep myself mellow and actually enjoy the situation more.

That's really the goal for me, and I think all moms too. I want to enjoy my children and the cute things they do. I want to live in the moment and not be concerned about the next big thing on my to-do list. I want to speak out to them with wise words. I want to teach and guide with kindness, not with raising my voice. These are two things that I would like to be accused of. This is how I would like my children to remember me.

Linking up most weeks with these encouraging blogs: #soulsurvival,  #intentionalTuesday, #RaRaLinkup, #threewordWednesday, #livefreeThursday, #belovedbrews, #dancewithJesus, #fellowshipFriday, #graceandtruth, #coffeeforyourheart, #TellHisStory, #Reflect, #livefreeThursday, #thecozyreadingspot


  1. Yes, yes - slowing down and savoring the moments. It seems that God is writing that on a few hearts this week. I'm hearing Him! Blessed to be your neighbor at #threewordwednesday.

    1. I've noticed that too, Tiffany! I must need to hear it too! Thanks for visiting!

  2. Oh, I so hear you on the not handling being in a rush very well. Great words to live by.

  3. Stress is like squeezing a tube of toothpaste--the goo is going to come out. Feeding our minds with God's word is so practical. When my kids were small I often recited "the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." I no longer remember the reference, but the idea still tempers my words. Visiting from #ThreeWordWed.

    1. Nice toothpaste analogy. So true. Thanks, Ginger!

  4. Kristen I enjoyed your post. The honesty and transparency. Very encouraging.

  5. Thank you for reminding us what is important --> how we will be remembered. It was good to look at Prov. 31:26 through that lens. Glad I stopped from Reflect today!