Monday, June 29, 2015

Managing Meltdowns like a Wise Woman

Does anyone else just lose it? Does anyone else feel like the grip you have on control sometimes slowly (or sometimes quickly) just slips away?

My daughter is now three. What a joyous, delightful age while at the same time being a totally horrendous, difficult age!

We (my kids and I) were eating lunch at an Arby's on our way back from Kansas. Everyone was tired from our fun weekend with family. I was trying to hurry the kids, making them eat quickly so we could get back on the road and finish the last leg of our trip. My daughter was upset by the fact that I was sitting by her brother instead of her. It was, after all, his turn. This did not matter to her. She let a shrill scream fly out of her mouth, expressing just how she felt about this unfair situation.

The lady in the booth next to us actually gasped. I heard it over the scream. Needless to say, I was a little embarrassed.

I also have something embarrassing to admit. At some moments, I am just a snap of the fingers away from a reaction similar to that of a tantrum by a three year old.

Can you relate? I hope you can. Not because that would be funny, but because it sure would make me feel better!

I'm on a quest to live life abundantly. Meltdowns and tantrums do not equal abundance in my mind. So, what's a girl to do? It's so easy to get frustrated, especially when we let our circumstances determine our reaction.

In Proverbs 14:1, I found a verse to ponder. It says:
"A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands."

I want to be a wise woman. Of this I am sure. So what does this verse mean? To me, it states that a woman can intentionally build up the people in her home. She can encourage and support her children and her spouse. When we do theses things, we build our homes to withstand meltdowns. We build our homes to be strong units, able to weather any storm.

At the same time, we can be foolish. A foolish woman can destroy her home with her own two hands. She can let her attitude get out of control. She can let feelings and emotions rule her words, instead of  peace and truth. When we allow ourselves to come unglued and to have a meltdown, we destroy the peace of our household that we work so hard to build. We destroy the peace in our marriages, and the example we want to set for our children. (Man, I am totally preaching to myself today!)

What can we do to be a woman who builds her home? We can...
  •  Work for peace. In 1 Peter 3:11, Peter writes, "Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it." Did you catch that? Peace is not something that just happens. Life is often busy and chaotic. Children are unpredictable. We must work to find a peace that works for our households, and we must intentionally maintain it. We must protect it if we want to build up our homes.
  • Harness our feelings. Even though it is hard, we must keep our feelings in check. Proverbs 29:11 says, "Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back." I'm not saying we should keep all of our feelings inside. That is not healthy. But think about it. When we foolishly vent our anger and frustration, who is the recipient of it? In my case, it is usually my children or my husband, the people that I love the most. This is not what I want. We must stay in control. We have help! In 1 John 3:20 it says, "God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything." God knows our struggles, but he is bigger than our emotions. Any emotion. We can go to him and vent to him. He can handle it!
  • Know when to take a break. We were not made to handle everything that life throws at us on our own. Everyone needs a break from life sometimes. Acts 3:20 says, "Then times of refreshment will come from the presence of the Lord." We have to get away and get with God! Psalm 23 echoes this same sentiment. "He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength" (verse 2, emphasis added). Psalm 119:50 also explains that "Your promise [God's Word] revives me; it comforts me in all my troubles." Let's face it, our families can give us trouble. We must take time to be refreshed by God and His Word. A woman cannot build her house if she is running on empty.
With God's help, we can all get ourselves in the category of "a wise woman." Feelings and frustrations can be controlled and redirected. Meltdowns can be prevented. Peace can be maintained. Let's set our aim high. Let's set our focus on God and go for it! Be a wise woman!


Linking up this week at: #soulsurvival, #intentionalTuesday, #RaRalinkup, #threewordWednesday, #livefreeThursday, #belovedbrews, #fellowshipFriday, #dancewithJesus,
www.holleygerth.com

www.jenniferdukeslee.com

22 comments:

  1. Ah yes... our Only did not have the "Terrible Two's" but those Three's - wow! They actually turned out to be one of my favorite years/ages too - so hang on to that! ;) I think your tips of what we can do at the end are priceless! Taking a Break is crucial... I used to put myself in time out, and everyone appreciated it! Great post!

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    1. I might have to use that time out thing on myself too! Good idea, Karrilee!

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  2. I love this. It brought back so many memories. Your tips are great! One more thing I'd add is "use your words." I once had a teacher who the greater her annoyance the softer her voice. She would quietly whisper, telling us that she was getting upset with us and how we needed to settle down. Usually adding some less than pleasant potential consequence.

    I used this one both at home and in the classroom and found it very effective. And your right . . . then take that break! Blessings!

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    1. Ooh, that quiet thing is good! Why is that so counterintuitive? I just want to yell out of my frustration. Thanks, Deb!

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  3. We all have those days. I pray I don't lash out and say things I'll regret later. Better to keep quiet then say things that will hurt. You can't take those back. But even so, God does redeem our screw ups. Otherwise there would be no hope for us all.

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    1. Yes, thank God for his grace! Thanks for visiting, Debbie!

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  4. Such truth in these words, Kristen.
    I'm asking God for wisdom all the time. By wisdom a house is built.
    Lovely post, thanks for sharing. :)
    ~ Your neighbor at the Intentional Tuesday Linkup today. :)

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  5. Love this, Kristen. I remember hearing as a young wife that I set the tone for my home. It's something that I've always gone back to - especially when I'm running around like a crazy person and I see my people trying to chase me. ;) It's so true - we need to be intentional and purposeful. Loved your points on how to do that - especially taking a break. That's the hardest for me but one that I'm learning is crucial to creating the peace I want to pour out of me and into my home. Thanks for sharing today! #raralinkup

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    1. Moms totally set the tone. We have a lot of power and influence as women, don't we! Thanks for stopping by!

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  6. Thanks so much for encouraging me today to be a wise woman and focus on God always. I'm visiting you from Intentional Tuesday Link Up. Blessings

    Tayrina
    www.atinymixof.com

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  7. Thanks for sharing this today, Kristen. YES, unfortunately I understand!!! I never realized I had a problem with controlling myself until I had 4 kids. :) They brought all the yikes out of me! But I agree, I want to be a wise woman, and I do see how the Lord is producing that kind of fruit in me. Blessings! #RaRaLinkup

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    1. So true. I didn't know I was such a reactor until I had kids! Thanks for stopping by, Angela!

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  8. "With God's help...." Whether we are raising little ones or growing older and dealing with our new aging selves or the people we encounter, I, too, want to be that wise woman rather than the foolish one. It takes God's help to bring us through any moment.
    Glad you are my neighbor at Kristin's.

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  9. A great and really helpful post today - yeah I've had those 'I just wannt scream' moments but I want to be a wise woman of peace :)

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  10. Unfortunately, I've been the foolish woman before. I'm so grateful for God's grace to try again. Living intentionally is something that has really changed my perspective and made me aware of how we affect each other. Thanks for encouraging well with this post and linking up at #ThreeWordWednesday.

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    1. Yes, me too, Kristin. We all need God's grace, and we need to extend that grace to others. Thanks for visiting!

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  11. Kristen, sometimes I wish Jesus had said, blessed are the peace keepers. But no, as you said, we have to work to make peace happen because "blessed are the peacemakers." We have to intentionally maintain and work for the peace first within ourselves and then within our homes. Thank you, Kristen, for sharing your heart at #IntentionalTuesday on Intentionally Pursuing. : )

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    1. Ooh, good point, Crystal! It is wise to be a peacemaker! Thanks for visiting!

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  12. Oh Kristen, so true. Meltdown...cuz O'm looking down...If I recall correctly, the ole enemy is down beneath MY feet so when I look down, who am I looking AT? And out he can get me to erupt. YUCK! All over me and everyone around me...

    Thank you! May I be wise and look up to our mighty God as I build my home!

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  13. Gosh, meltdowns. Not that easy to forget. I thank God I know better now. :)

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